


Risk and Regrets

by fivebrightstars



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Yeonbin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:22:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23427688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fivebrightstars/pseuds/fivebrightstars
Summary: “Its not always about reciprocating the feelings, Binnie. It is about taking the risk just for you to let them feel that they’re special and important to you. Its about making the person feel your love for them. It’s the real meaning of love. Even if they can’t return the feelings, as long as they’re happy, you’re already contented. Atleast you won’t regret that you didn’t show them how you feel.”If you did that, then you’re really in love.”or a fic where in Choi Soobin just wouldn't take the risk.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Kudos: 14





	1. Blue Haired Guy

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone! this is my first fic so please be good to me.
> 
> im sorry for future grammatical errors since english is not my first language.
> 
> i hope you enjoy and please leave comments if you have time :)
> 
> Thank you so much!

_Why do people always become a fool when it comes to love? Why are they willing to risk anything if there is no certainty? Why are they willing to love someone who doesn’t love them back? Why are they willing to push through if they will get hurt?_

“Did something happen again?”

I ask this boy in front of me while sipping my latte. He’s giving off this sad aura around him that gives me an idea that something is not right to the point that he asked me to go to this café which he doesn’t usually do. 

“Nothing, hyung.” He answered with a sigh and checked his phone for the nth time like he’s waiting for a message or a call from someone.

“Taehyun again, isn’t it?”

He just looked at me and started stirring his coffee.

“You know that you can tell me anything, Hyuka.”

“Tell you and then what? You’ll just go again nagging me and telling me why do I keep on doing this if he can’t give back the love I’m giving him. That is not how it works, hyung. Its not always like that.” He sighed again.

Its not that I’m against what he is doing but I just don’t really get it. Why keep going if you’re already hurting? Why don’t you just accept the fact that you won’t get everything you want and that’s because life is truly unfair and we can’t do anything about that.

“Okay fine. I promise I won’t say anything like that. Come on! You can tell me. I can’t stand seeing you like that.” 

“You really love me that much, don’t you, Soobin hyung?” he said with a playful smirk.

“Sometimes I just really want to disown you and that is what I really really want to do right now.” I glared at him that made him laugh. Aish this kid! Minute ago he’s frowning too much and now he’s laughing his ass out. He’s so annoying!

Once he finished laughing at me and calming himself, he started talking. He was laughing a while ago but his eyes tell something else and I, as his brother, knows it the best.

“Hyung, you know that I’m crushing on Taehyun for 2 years now right?” he started and I just give him a nod.

“and we also know that he is aware of it. I, myself, is not hiding it though. Recently he’s been so sweet and caring to the point that I assumed that maybe he is starting to feel the same. We are always together during our breaks. He studies with me in the library after class and we even walk home together. This last for quite long and then this happens…”

“what do you mean?”

“It’s like he is avoiding me… Everytime I see him around, he walks past by me like I don’t even exist. I tried approaching him but whenever I’m close, he goes the other way. I’ve been messaging him non-stop but I got no replies. Worst? He doesn’t even read my messages. Its like I’ve been left alone with all this hope that he might started to feel the same. I feel like shit.”

I was just looking at Kai the whole time. He is on the verge of crying as he tells me the whole story. It just pains me seeing my little brother like this. 

I try to find the right comforting words to say but I can’t find any. He’s been crushing on Taehyun for so long and ever since, the later didn’t even give him a sign that he got a chance. He surely knows what Kai is feeling towards him unless he’s too oblivious not to notice and its also too obvious that he just sees Kai as a friend. I just don’t understand why can’t my brother just move on and be happy.

“Err… Maybe he’s just really busy or something. Let’s get that off your mind. Arcade?”

Ugh… Who invited his broken-hearted brother to go to arcade? Yeah that’s me, Choi Soobin.

6:00 am and I’m already on my way to the university. I wanted to go early to have some me time inside the classroom since there are still few students during this time. Also, the school looks really different during this hour. No student running and shouting around the corridor. You’ll just hear the chirping of birds and the wind like they’re singing.

I’m walking towards the room, feeling the cold morning breeze when a guy bumped at me.

How the fuck did he bumped at me? The corridor is too big and there is no other students around. He got the whole space to walk through tho.

“I- I’m sorry. Did you get hurt?” 

A blue haired guy offered his hand to help me get up. He doesn’t look familiar. Is he a transfer student? Yes. Maybe he is. Blue haired person isn’t that hard to notice among the crowd but then I’ve never saw one so I may be right.

I grabbed his hand and fixed myself after standing up.

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice you and I’m like feeling myself too much.” He said while rubbing the back of his neck.

Beside that blue hair color, he also got a lot of earrings. Its like he got three on the left and two on the other. His face was a bit round and his lips were a little pouty. He is just a few inches smaller than me. If you’re going to look at him, he looks like a celebrity. Yes! He’s giving off that vibe.

“Uhm… Stranger?” 

I was pulled back to my senses and saw a hand waving in front of me. Oh god! Did I just stare at him for too long? This is so embarrassing Soobin!

“Oh… Huh? Y-yeah its okay. Its okay.” I can feel the redness creeping up my face.

“Oh. Hehehe. I’m Yeonjun. Choi Yeonjun.”

“Choi Soobin.”

“Oh! You’re a Choi too!” he said happily while clapping in small font.

“Uhm, yes? I guess?” 

Isn’t he just a little energetic? This early in the morning? Dude? Seriously?! What do you eat for breakfast?

“Woah! Can I call you brother? Are you okay with that?” 

I was startled when he reached for my hand and came closer that made things more awkward. He’s like a clingy little child. He looked at me with puppy eyes and pout in his lips. Oh god what am I seeing? He’ just cute. 

Wait?! What are you saying, Choi Soobin?

“Y-yeah fine. Can you… uhm… let go of my hands now?”

He stared at me for a second and let go of my hand once he realized what he’s been doing.

“Oh. I-I’m sorry…”

“N-no its okay hyung. I don’t mind.” I said while waving my hands towards him.

“I almost forgot! I have to go by the principal’s office! See you around, Soobinie!” 

He bolted to the corridors and immediately leave my sight before I even say my goodbye. He surely is one energetic and talkative kid. Geez! But he’s _cute_ tho.

And wait! Did he just called me _Soobinie_?


	2. Chapter 2

“Hyungieeeee!!” a familiar voice called me once I get out of the classroom. Its breaktime already after an hour sitting in my math class. Listening to my teacher explaining this number language that I don’t even understand. A moment ago, the board was clean. I just blinked and it is full of numbers, computations and formulas I don’t even know where they came from. Believe me when I say that it felt like a whole day and it worn me out.

When I turn around, I saw an 18-year-old kid, acting like 8 tho, running in the corridor going my direction.

“Hyung! Hyung!” Hyuka shouted, catching not only mind but everyone's attention.

“Come on now! Let’s eat before they consume all of my lovely cream bread!”

“Wait-“ he said while catching his breath. Who even told him to run? Aish, kids nowadays!

“Hi, Soobin hyung!” I saw a tiny good-looking guy with big eyes, nose and lips fitted perfectly in his small face, approaching us.

“Taehyunnie!”

Yes, that’s Kang Taehyun right there. Hyuka’s one and only crush. The love of his life just like how he says all the time.

“Hyung, I can’t go with you today. Uhm.. You can see… Taehyun and I…” Hyuka whispered to my ear so Taehyun won’t hear it.

I know already what he wanted to say. He wanted to spend time with his loml alone. Who am I to interfere? I’m just a big brother and that is the love of his life. Yeah, I’m _just_ his brother.

“Alright. Alright I get it.”

“Let’s go now!” Taehyun said as he approached the two of us.

Hyuka gave me a pleading look like he’s asking me to say no and give random excuses.

And that’s what I did.

“I’m afraid I can’t join the both of you. I still need something to accomplish. Maybe next time, yeah?”

“Aww. Is that so? Do you want us to bring you food on our way back?” Taehyun asked.

“No, its okay. I’ll do it later. Go now and eat! You might get nothing left.” I said while pushing them away.

“Goodbye hyung! See you later!” Hyuka said and mouthed me a small “thank you” before they go. The things your good brother does for you Hueningkai. You’re indeed lucky. You owe me an ice cream for this. 

So, look who’s going to eat alone. Yes, that’s me! Let me just grab a cream bread and I’ll be fine.

I guess eating alone is not a bad thing after all. I’m here under the big tree near the gymnasium enjoying my me time with my delicious cream bread. It’s not that hot yet plus this tree is protecting me from the sun. The cool breeze also makes it relaxing.

“Thank you so much, Mr. Big Tree!” I said will patting its exposed roots.

The quietness of the surrounding is so relaxing. Maybe I should stay here some other time during my free time instead of being a third wheel of the loud giant kid and his sassy crush. No! Don’t get me wrong. I love those two idiots so bad it’s just that I really want to smack their heads sometimes.

I was about to bite onto my cream bread when someone broke the quietness by calling my name a little too loud.

“Soobin…?”

I looked at from where the voice is coming from and I blue haired guy come into my sight. He still has this celebrity aura around him. His plump lips are curved into a smile. Is he glowing or its only because the sun is shining so bright?

What are you saying Choi Soobin?

“Soobinie, is that you?”

“Hey! Yeonjun hyung! What are you doing here?”

He took a sit next to me. We just met earlier but it seems like he is already comfortable with me. Am I imagining things or he is really like this?

“I saw this tree this morning while I’m being lost in this huge campus and I thought staying here during the break time would be a nice idea. And it turned out that it really is…” he said while smiling. He starts opening his sandwich bag that he was holding since he showed up.

“is it?”

“yes, because you are here”

The wind suddenly blew after he said those words. It keeps on repeating inside my head and there is this feeling I can’t explain inside my chest.

“Hey, hey! Don’t get me wrong…” he said when he noticed that I was not answering. “I mean it feels good to be with someone instead of being alone, right? I never really liked being alone”

“Right...” I answered with a smile on my face.

Has anyone told me before that they feel great having me with them? I guess none. Yeonjun was the first one who told me that and it feels good. If this is what it feels to be appreciated, then I want to feel it most of the time.

“What do you think about eating with me during break time? I mean if you don’t have things to do. It’s okay if you don’t want to and you want to eat with your friends. I don’t mind. It’s just if you want… you know?”

I don’t know what comes to my mind and ask him that. Geez Choi Soobin!

I was distracted when I heard him laughing. What’s funny about that?

“I’m a transferee so it’s obvious that is still don’t have friends by this time so maybe joining you would be a really, really great idea. _I’m also comfortable with you and it seems like you’re a great person. I wanna know you more, Soobinie.”_

_Soobinie._

He called me that again and my heart skipped a beat.

What is this feeling?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not me making a new chapter after almost abandoning this. 
> 
> oh well, hi!


	3. Ignore

“Hey hyung! We ran out of soda!”

“Already?! What are you guys doing with the soda?!”

The four of us are here in our house for our usual Friday night hangout. Yeonjun hyung has always been with us since the day we ate under the big tree in the campus. Both Taehyun and Hueningkai were fond of him. He was the oldest among the four of us but whenever we are together, it seems like he’s just the same age with Tyun and Hyuka. But honestly, he’s different when it’s just the two of us. Anyway, I should buy soda from the convenience store nearby.

“Fine! I’m going to buy so-“

“No hyung! Just stay there! Tyun and I will buy it!” Hyuka winked at me.

Geez! This kid! He’ll do anything just to spend time with his loml!

“Wait, what?!” Taehyun protested but Hyuka grabbed his wrist immediately and pull him out of the room.

“Let’s go, Hyunnie!”

I just watched the two of them as they went out the door with a huge smile on my brother’s face as if he won the lottery.

“He really has a huge crush on Hyunnie, don’t he?” Yeonjun hyung asked out of nowhere.

“Yes! He’s always screaming about how Tyun is pretty, pure perfection, and talented. He even talks in his sl- Wait! You know?!?!”

“It’s too obvious for me not to notice. The way he looks at him says too much.” Yeonjun sat beside me with a bag of chips in his hands.

By now, I can’t deny that i’m completely comfortable with Yeonjun hyung. It felt like we’ve known each other for so long. The way he clings on me everytime means that he’s also comfortable with me as well. Being with him is already a daily thing for me.

“How about you, Soobinie?” He asked as he munched on the chips.

“Huh?”

“Are you crushing on someone?” He looked at me in the eyes waiting for my answer. That moment, it seems like my mind stopped working and I don’t understand why.

I can feel the redness slowly crawling up my face and the room suddenly becomes hot. What is this?

Am I crushing on someone? But I don’t even know what I feels like having a crush.

“M-me? I don’t have any…” I answered avoiding his gaze almost immediately.

“Is that so? Your life is a little boring.” he laughed while putting the bag of chips on the coffee table.

“You’re so mean, hyung! It’s just that I don’t get the idea of liking someone who can’t even return your feelings. It’s like buying a mystery box from some online shops without knowing if the amount you paid for it will be worth it. It’s like spending money on claw machine where you know there’s a higher chance of not getting anything.” The atmosphere starting to get a little serious.

“It’s not always about reciprocating the feelings, Binnie. It is about taking the risk just for you to let them feel that they’re special and important to you. It’s about making the person feel your love for them. It’s the real meaning of love. Even if they can’t return the feelings, as long as they’re happy, you’re already contented. At least you won’t regret that you didn’t show them how you feel.”

I looked at Yeonjun hyung. He’s staring out the window with a smile plastered on his face. Like what he is saying was from his own experience. His eyes were glowing too. He looks _beautiful_.

“If you did that, then you’re really in love.”

He slowly looked at me. There was more sparkle in his eyes this time but there is something wrong. His eyes look _sad_ too. The glow is there but the sadness is still visible.

I’m confused. It seems like his eyes were telling me something but I can’t understand what is it.

“Hyung, is something wrong?” I asked, voice laced with worry.

He just smiled at me. The same smile plastered in his face a while ago.

“You know what, Soobinie? It’s much better to take risk and get hurt after than regretting that you didn’t do anything. It’s harder to deal with regret than pain. Regret will haunt you…

_forever_.”

“Guys its already late. What if you sleep here for tonight?”

Its already 11:47 in the evening. Taehyun and Yeonjun hyung are still here because we forgot about the time since we’re enjoying the movie too much.

Yeonjun hyung lying down beside me with his head on my lap and my hand ruffling his hair. He loves this so much. Sometimes he’ll just grab my hand and put it in his head asking me to play with his hair. He is a big _baby_ if you’re going to ask me.

“I’m just going to call my mom...” Taehyun said while reaching for his phone

“Oh! She already knows, Tyun! And she said it’s okay for you to stay the night.” Hyuka said while pulling Taehyun back to his seat.

“Oh?”

That proud smile on Hyuka’s face! I think he planned all of this ahead.

“Hyung, how about y- oh?”

I was about to ask Yeonjun hyung but when I looked at him, he’s sleeping peacefully already. Maybe waking him up isn’t a good idea. He’s living alone in his apartment anyway.

It’s almost one in the morning but I’m still wide awake. The three of them were all asleep. Hyuka and Taehyun were cuddling each other on the mattress on the floor. While Yeonjun hyung is still sleeping with his head on my lap. He looks so peaceful. His lips were formed in a cute pout. Are they normally like that? _Cute._ Oh! And his lashes were long! Wow. He is indeed the _epitome of beauty_. I can hear his soft snores. My back is aching a little but I can’t wake up this _angel_ right here beside me.

I suddenly remember our conversation a while ago.

“ _Taking risk, huh?”_

I took a deep breath to try clear out my mind.

“But I’m not that brave to take risk, hyung.” I slowly stroke his blue locks. His hair is so soft and it always smells like lavender shampoo all the time.

“If only I was just as brave as my brother…”

I've been hanging out with Yeonjun hyung for couple of weeks now and everytime he'll beam me a smile, I can't help but feel something in my stomach. There is always this unknown feeling whenever I'm with him. Maybe because I never really had a close friend near my age. I'm used to hanging out with Hyuka and Tyun. I got few friends from my class but we're not close enough to the point where I'm comfortable enough to hangout with them everytime.

It's always the unknown feeling in my chest when I'm with him. I don't know but maybe it's just because he's different. How will I say this? He's the type of friend who pays attention to you everytime. He's really caring and sweet. He's like those ideal lead character stated in books whom everyone falls in love with.

I slowly remove the strands of hair that covers his face for me to have a clearer view of the beauty right here in front of me.

“If only I have the guts to explore more of what I'm feeling..."

Even the room is so dark, I can still see his face clearly. _Perfection._

“But I’m not, hyung. I’m scared…”

He shifted a little and let out a little sigh. _Cute._ He looks like a small kid in deep slumber.

“So… I’ll just ignore it as much as I can.” I laughed bitterly.

I continue playing with his soft locks until my eyelids felt heavy.

I woke up from the sun rays hitting my face and the loud noises coming from the living room. I can’t remember what time I fell asleep last night. I think the others are up by now.

I shifted, trying to continue my slumber and enjoy the comfort and warmth of my bed and my thick blanket. Ignoring the yells of the loud kids outside.

_Wait. What?!_

I’m lying on my bed and this is my blanket which means I’m inside my room.

MY ROOM!

The last thing I remember was I’m sitting uncomfortably in the sofa while Yeonjun hyung was lying beside me. Why am I inside my room?

Did I sleep walk last night?! Maybe my body felt too uncomfortable so it just automatically walked itself and went to my room.

I open my eyes to check if I’m really inside my room.

White walls, white curtains and a little disorganized study table. Good natural lightings. Yes, this is my room.

When did I get in here? Omg Choi Soobin! Sleep walking is not good you know that.

My messy thoughts stopped when I felt something moved from the opposite side of my bed. I turn around just to see Yeonjun hyung sleeping beautifully. He is sitting on the floor while his head rested on my bed.

I can’t stop looking at him. He’s just perfect and breathtaking you know.

Maybe staring at him for a little wouldn’t hurt, yeah?

God! Why is this person this perfect? His soft locks, his sharp eyes, his cute cheek bones and his fluffy cheeks, his pouty lips and his round face. I can’t get enough looking at him.

“Stop staring, Soobin-ah!” Yeonjun said in his deep morning voice still sounding so sleepy.

“I-I thought you were sleeping… a-and… I am not s-staring! Stop dreaming, hyung!”

I turned my back on him and cover my face using my blanket. You’re so stupid Choi Soobin

“ _cute._ ” I heard him let out a little laugh.

And there was silence again not until someone barge in almost breaking my door.

“Hey! Sleepyhead hyungs! Breakfast is ready! GET UP NOW!!”

“Shut up, Hyuka! You’re too loud!” I throw the pillow I was hugging a while ago but he dodges and run out of my room laughing like a crazy kid.

Yeonjun hyung get up, still laughing from the scene. He straightening his crumpled shirt, hair still messy and eyes still droopy. He stretched out his hands to my direction, sunlight that passed through my curtains hitting his face making him glow. He flashed me a smile. "Get up now. You're probably hungry."

Still in daze, I grabbed his hand and in that moment, something hit me.

but then, I decided to _ignore_ it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *elsa's voice* conceal, don't feel, don't let it show


End file.
